


Innocuous Things

by narikalen



Category: Torchwood
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-03-19
Updated: 2007-03-19
Packaged: 2017-10-17 08:31:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 768
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/174898
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/narikalen/pseuds/narikalen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It’s strange, how the most innocuous looking things turn out to be so dangerous.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Innocuous Things

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first piece of fanfic I ever wrote.

It fell through the Rift three days ago, and had been sitting on Owen’s table, gathering dust, because the man was too bull-headed to relinquish it, and too lazy to actually do anything with it. So, there it sat, being all round and metallic, doing nothing. After a week, we forgot about it; just another paperweight, to add to the others on the pit of Owen’s desk.

It’s been weeks since Jack’s gone; blithered off to God knows where. The translation program I’m running is doing fine on its own, rows of code flashing past my screen in beautiful, organized numbers. I don’t need to be here watching it, not really, but then, what else have I got to do? Ianto’s in the kitchenette, pretending to make us even more coffee; I’m surprised we haven’t all keeled over from the caffeine overdose. Gwen and Owen are – God knows where Gwen and Owen are.

The Hub’s sounds different now, almost too quiet without the overwhelming presence that was always Jack. It looks different too, although I’m hard-pressed to say how. Ianto’s cleaning is going into overdrive; I’m not sure he even goes home at night anymore. There’s a surreal quality to the space, like everything’s been moved one inch to the left. My eyes wander – Myfanwy’s nest, Jack’s office, the staircase, the water tower, Owen’s desk, the exceptionally clean floor… Owen’s desk. Something’s different. Not the usual ever-present shift in the air since Jack left either. There’s the 3 months work of paperwork, the coffee mug that doubles as a pencil holder, the chair rolled back like he left in a hurry… the sphere. The sphere is gone. That innocuous, round little contraption which, no matter how much Owen had prodded and poked and cajoled and threatened, did nothing, was gone.

Ianto walks in from above, and takes in my wide-eyed expression with concern, and it finally occurs to me that maybe, just maybe, Ianto’s moved the thing. But the slight widening of his eyes when he looks at Owen’s desk tells me that, he too, has noticed the missing sphere (much faster than I did, at that), and his concern is just as real. And we both know, just know, that Owen is much too lazy to have taken it anywhere… so where has it gone?

A slight skritching noise, directly behind me, and Ianto’s eyes widen more. _Oh god. Don’t turn around don’t turnaround don’tturnarounddon’tturndon’tturndon’tturn_ runs through my head, but I know that, as the senior field agent, I need to see what’s behind me. And it’s not scary, not really. Just the little round sphere, sprouting legs and a great red laser eye. Resembles a metal spider, now that I look again. But still, it’s an alien presence inside the Hub. My fingers fly over the keyboard; we go into lockdown. The spider skitters off, too fast for our eyes to follow.

We’re alerted of its whereabouts moments later when we hear Gwen’s screech and Owen’s yell coming from the direction of the armoury. Ianto opens Gwen’s drawer, bringing out her gun. He tosses Owen’s backup in my direction, then takes off at a dead run towards Gwen and Owen.

I follow closely, and we turn the bend just in time to watch Gwen grab the nearest piece of technology (shiny, metal), point it at the metal spider and fire. _P-ting!_ Great. Gwen is standing in the middle of the armoury, surrounded by weapons too dangerous for the human race, and she fires the goddam _toaster_ at the alien spider? Time stands still for that awkward moment as the piece of toast shoots out of the toaster, and thwacks the metal spider, before the spider is off again. Owen gives a yelp he notices it run towards him, the laser eye pointing directly at his crotch. I watch, fascinated, almost in slow-motion as the spider gets closer and closer to Owen… and then, with a snap, Ianto traps the creature in a small cage he’s thrown over it. Where the cage came from, I’ll never know. Ianto has his ways.

The excitement’s over; the spider’s contained. There’s Owen, pressed against the wall, his hands forming a protective barrier in front of his pants. There’s Gwen, frowning at the toaster as if it were some strange form of alien technology that she’s never encountered before (and isn’t there an awful lot of that?), and finally, there’s Ianto, not looking at the spider in the cage. In fact, Ianto’s glare is distinctly directed in Gwen’s direction… at the toaster in her hands.

“Gwen, stay out of _my_ kitchen.”

**Author's Note:**

> prompt: toaster


End file.
